Mentoring and the Retired Pastor- Part 6
A story about John Maxwell and Mentoring
“Your golf partner is here, and he just rented his clubs.” They were laughing at the poor pastor who had to play golf with an unknown partner who had just flown into town. This obscure individual had flown into town for a golf tournament at one of Atlanta's finest golf courses, and strangely, he did not bring any clubs. Thus, after landing, he walked into the pro shop to rent a bag filled with drivers, irons, wedges, and putters that he hardly knew what to do with. They were laughing at the poor pastor who was his partner. But they were laughing about me.
Why might you ask, would I, who does and did not play golf, show up at a golf tournament at one of the finest golf courses in the south?
The surface answer is that it was a charity tournament… a fundraiser. I was there because I had given money to the sponsoring charity.
However, the more in-depth, and I use the word carefully, the spiritual answer is that I was there as part of God's work in my life. From his work, we can learn some lessons about mentoring, about how God might use retired pastors to mentor other pastors. But let me back up.
The year was 1989. I had just become pastor of a church that had been in turmoil for five years without a pastor. When I took the job, the turmoil reached a feverish peak. I needed help, mentoring, encouragement, and wisdom from an older, wiser man. God provided that through a retired executive named George Woodward. George had been a family friend for years. I was honored when he stepped in to coach and encourage me. George spent hours listening, talking, evaluating, and encouraging me. It was intense. I survived because of George.
Over the next few years, George remained large in my life, but I also gained other mentors. Many contemporary individuals mentored me through books, seminars, and cassette tapes. Their names are familiar to those who ministered in those days: Rick Warren, Bill Hybels, and John Maxwell. They did not know me, but I listened to them. Warren profoundly influenced me in preaching… Hybels on leadership… Maxwell on…. well, mostly by his just being John Maxwell.
Eventually, the church I pastored began to thrive.
In 1998, nine years later, John Maxwell came to Syracuse for a large city-wide seminar. It was a great experience with a few thousand people. During that weekend experience, he conducted a session for pastors, during which he discussed leadership. At the end of this session, he asked pastors who wanted the gift of leadership to stand, and he would pray for them, confidently asking God to give them the spiritual gift of leadership.
I was honestly confused. Did I already possess the gift of leadership? Did I need the gift? Did I need John Maxwell to pray for me to get it? Could you give a spiritual gift to another person by praying for them? Was I just too proud to admit my need? Who did he think he was?
Despite Maxwell's prompting, I did not stand. But the experience haunted me, and the Spirit of God hunted me. Was I willing to admit my need and ask another, obviously gifted, member of the body to pray for me?
A few months later, I heard that John Maxwell was hosting a charity golf tournament. I was Spirit-compelled to go. I donated some money, bought a ticket, and, with my wife, ended up in Atlanta. I was not there to play golf but to ask John Maxwell to pray for me, so that I would receive the gift of leadership. Honestly, it wasn't about Maxwell at all; it was about my pride and admitting my need.
I rented some clubs, apologized to the poor pastor, my assigned partner, and played a horrible initial round of golf. John Maxwell spoke at the end-of-the-day dinner. After eating, I timidly approached him and shared my experience in Syracuse with him. I explained my hesitation in standing and my questions about spiritual gifts. I asked him why he thought he was qualified to impart the spiritual gift of leadership. He talked for a few moments. Satisfied with his answer, and in response to the Spirit’s prompting, I asked him to pray that I would get the gift of leadership. He did, and I did. Mission accomplished; I had done what I had come to do.
Later that night, I got a phone call. My friend and mentor, George Woodward, had passed away suddenly from a heart attack. I was stunned. It was a tremendous personal loss and an enormous loss for our church. But in the midst of it, God gave me an underlying confidence. I knew that I and the church would be okay.
I believe that the Sovereign Schemer had brought me to Atlanta to challenge my pride, empower me with the spiritual gift of leadership, prepare me for losing my long-time mentor, and remind me that He is my Ultimate Mentor! God had brought me to Atlanta because he was doing a new thing.
I tried to get back to Syracuse, but the flights were unavailable. I missed George’s funeral. I dropped out of the golf tournament that I never wanted to be in. My golfing partner was now paired up with someone who had their own set of clubs. I spent the day with my wife before flying back to Syracuse.
What is the point of this story for retired pastors?
1- God uses different kinds of mentors at different times.
Retired pastors, you can mentor younger pastors differently at different times.
There is no one right way to mentor. In their book on mentoring, Robert Clinton and Paul Stanley review seven different mentoring models. Three of these models involve intense mentoring, three involve occasional mentoring, and one involves passive mentoring.[1]
In the three intense models, the mentor serves as a discipler (teaching how to follow Christ), a spiritual guide (aiding in growth towards maturity), or a coach (providing help to perform a task).
In our time together, George was both a spiritual guide and a coach. He guided me towards Christ when I wanted to run out the door of the church, and he coached me towards becoming a pastor when I didn't know how. It was intense. Did I mention that I survived because of his investment?
His mentoring is exactly what I needed at a specific time.
However, later, I needed mentoring in leading a church and preaching. I went to what Clinton and Stanley describe as passive mentors for these needs.[2] Passive mentors add value to your life through their published works, books, seminars, sermons, or even through their example. They may be contemporary or historical figures. Hybels, Warren, and Maxwell were all passive mentors.
In addition to intense mentors and passive mentors, Clinton and Stanley write about occasional mentors. This group includes counselors (who make special developmental contributions for a time), teachers (who impart knowledge about a particular subject), and sponsors (who provide career guidance and support). Maxwell, who had been a passive mentor, became an occasional mentor, a teacher, and a counselor for one brief encounter.
Retired pastors, reflect on your life and identify the intense, occasional, and passive mentors who have influenced you. Thank God for them. Then ask yourself, “What kind of mentor have I been?” “What kind of mentor do I desire to be?”
You do not need to have a well-prepared curriculum to guide your mentees through. One of the key characteristics of the coach, spiritual guide, and counselor is simply the ability to ask questions and listen carefully to the answers given while listening to the Spirit of God in you. Then the coach, spiritual guide, and counselor speaks as He directs. This is what Curt Bradford does. You can do this!
On the other hand, perhaps you function best with a well-developed path or curriculum. You can serve as a teacher or a counselor. My friend Bob Ordman, a former pastor, has committed himself to a group of pastors and takes them through specific material he has prepared.
Retired pastors, you may have long-term mentoring relationships. In my conversations with younger pastors, they often mention the person in their life who is “their pastor.” This is frequently a retired pastor who is in their corner and always around for them.
On the other hand, you can mentor a younger pastor with a single encounter in which you share life-giving words. I marvel as I watch my friend Greg Surratt speak words of life and encouragement to build up younger pastors.
2. God is at work providing us with mentoring opportunities and prodding us to initiate them.
God desires to use you in the lives of younger leaders.
When I became a pastor as a young man, George Woodward was there, ready to help. He responded to the opportunity to mentor me at a significant personal cost. His ministry to me brought great benefits. This resulted from God's work in his life and God's provision in mine.
Look around. Who are the younger pastors whom God has put into your life? They are not there by accident. Perhaps God would have you mentor them for a season. Or even a single occasion.
How is the Spirit of God prodding you to initiate? In response to the Spirit, George and John offered themselves as mentors. They could have resisted, hesitated, or even stifled the voice of the Spirit, offering little and missing the opportunity before them. God provides opportunities, but we must step into them.
Of course, when we offer ourselves to younger pastors, we risk rejection. Just as the mentor must respond to the spirit provided opportunity, so must the mentee. I could have rejected George’s concern and did, at first, reject John’s overture.
However, you never know the importance of simply offering yourself to another. Even though I initially rejected John’s offer to stand and receive the gift of leadership, the whole event continued to challenge me. God was working in me in a way unknown to John. Be willing to face rejection and trust the work of God.
Questions:
1- Who are the people who mentored you? Thank God for their investment in your life.
2- Who are the pastors God has put in your life to encourage and perhaps mentor? Are you willing to risk rejection and to follow the Spirit’s lead?
3- How has God used you in the past? What kind of mentor have you been? How might he use you today with pastors?
[1] Paul D. Stanley and J. Robert Clinton, Connecting: (P) The Mentoring Relationships You Need to Succeed in Life (NavPress, 2014).
[2] Stanley and Clinton. Chapter 9
That golf experience was memorable